Today, I Received a Queue Number Receipt with a Sad Story 【今天，我拿到了一张带着悲伤故事的排队号码单】
Update: 21 May 2025 – The reader updated that his case was reviewed, and assistance was rendered in a timely manner by a reassigned SSO officer after this article was published. Thankful to hear this piece of good news even though his challenges are now extending into another arena.
📜 The Story of a Family Seeking Help
一个求助家庭的故事
Today, I received a queue number receipt with a sad story behind it.
今天，我拿到了一张背后藏着一段心酸故事的排队号码单。
It is the story of a family — a father and a mother — standing outside the Social Service Office (SSO), helmed by North West CDC and e2i, institutions and under the purview of Ministry of Social and Family Development, Singapore (MSF) tasked with providing urgent, short-term, medium-term, and long-term assistance to families in need. This ministry is helmed by Minister Masagos Zulkifli, Ms. Sun Xueling and Mr. Eric Chua.
这是一个家庭的故事——一位父亲和一位母亲，站在由北西社区发展理事会（North West CDC）及就业与赋能中心（e2i）主导的社会服务办公室（SSO）门外。这些机构隶属于新加坡社会及家庭发展部（MSF），负责为有需要的家庭提供紧急、短期、中期和长期援助。该部由马萨戈斯·祖尔基弗里部长（Masagos Zulkifli）、孙雪玲女士（Ms. Sun Xueling）和蔡德强先生（Mr. Eric Chua）领导。
🤲 Trying Their Best, Yet Doors Remain Closed
再多努力，依然求职无门
The father, once the main breadwinner, has been out of work for close to 2.5 years. Not for the lack of trying — he heeded the government’s call to upskill, attending multiple courses, securing a long list of certifications, all in hopes of turning their situation around. Yet, the door to employment remained shut.
这位父亲，曾是家里的经济支柱，已经失业将近两年半。并不是因为不努力——他响应政府的号召，积极提升技能，参加了多项培训课程，考取了一连串的证书，希望能改善家里的经济状况。然而，工作机会的大门始终未曾为他敞开。
📍 Following the System, Hitting a Wall
按部就班，却处处碰壁
Encouraged by community leaders and volunteers, the family turned to the system, following the official process and submitting all the required documents. At last, a phone call came from a ComCare officer, requesting further information.
在社区领袖和志愿者的鼓励下，这个家庭选择相信制度，依循流程，提交了所有所需的文件。终于，接到了一通来自**康乐援助（ComCare）**职员的电话，要求补充更多资料。
During the call, the family shared their harsh reality — unpaid utility bills, growing healthcare expenses, and the daily demands of caring for two young children, one of whom frequently falls ill. The mother had to remain home as a caregiver, while the father was ready and able to work.
在那通电话中，这个家庭如实讲述了他们目前的困境——水电费长期拖欠、医疗开销持续增加，还要每天照顾两个年幼的孩子（其中一个经常生病）。母亲必须留在家中照顾孩子，而父亲已经准备好，也有能力外出工作。
But the officer’s reply was blunt: “It is our policy to assist only when both parents agree to take on full-time jobs and place their youngest child into student care.”
然而，职员的回应却异常冷漠： “我们的政策是，只有在父母双方都全职工作，并将最小的孩子送去学生托管，我们才会提供援助。”
☎️ Five to Six Calls, No Answer
五六次回拨，无人接听
Despite explaining their circumstances, the family’s plea was met with inflexibility. The call ended abruptly, and several attempts to reach the officer again — five to six times — went unanswered.
尽管这家人一再解释自己的实际情况，但仍然被一套僵硬的政策拒之门外。电话很快就被挂断，之后他们尝试了五到六次回拨，始终无人接听。
🙋♂️ Choosing to Show Up in Person
选择亲自上门，期待面对面沟通
On the advice of their community leader, the family queued outside the SSO office the next day, hoping that a face-to-face conversation might bring understanding where bureaucracy had failed.
在社区领袖的建议下，这个家庭隔天亲自前往SSO办公室排队，希望面对面的沟通能够弥补流程中的冷漠与缺失。
When their queue number was finally called, they approached the counter with hope. But they were met not with compassion, but with a questioning tone: “Why are you here? You already have an appointment. Why are you here again?”
终于轮到他们的号码，他们怀抱希望走到柜台前。但迎接他们的却不是理解，而是一句质问： “你们为什么在这里？不是已经有预约了吗？为什么还来？”
The father replied calmly, “Yes, we had a call yesterday, but it was not completed. We tried calling back several times but couldn’t reach anyone. That’s why we’re here today.”
父亲平静地回答： “是的，我们昨天接到过电话，但并没有讲完。之后我们多次尝试回电，但都没人接听，所以我们今天才亲自过来。”
❌ The Hope for Dialogue, Met with Rejection
盼望对话，却再次被拒之门外
The staff acknowledged the situation and went inside to consult the officer. The family waited.
柜台职员听完后表示了解，并走进办公室与那位负责的职员沟通。这家人耐心等待着。
Soon, the officer appeared. Despite initial hope for dialogue, the officer stated plainly: “I’m busy today. My schedule is full. We only meet by appointment.”
很快，那位职员出现了。尽管家人一开始抱有希望，但职员却冷冷地说道： “我今天很忙，行程已满。我们只接受有预约的人。”
Even as the family emphasized the urgency of their situation and requested a simple written memo confirming their next appointment, the request was denied. When the father asked for the case number — the most basic acknowledgment of their application — this too was rejected.
尽管家人一再强调情况的紧急性，并请求对方出具一张简单的书面备忘，确认下一次会面的时间，但这个请求依然被拒绝。当父亲要求提供一个案件编号——哪怕只是最基本的一个申请确认——同样被拒绝。
💔 Not Just Disappointment, But Hurt by the System and Its People
失望的不只是制度，更是被其执行者所伤
The family left the SSO office not just disappointed, but hurt by the way they had been treated — not by the system alone, but by the very people who are supposed to be its human face.
这家人带着失望离开了SSO办公室。他们所感受到的，不只是制度的冷漠，更是那些本应代表制度“人性面孔”的工作人员所展现出的无情态度。
🍃 When Expectations Are Unequally Applied
当期望标准存在双重标准
In a recent news report, Member of Parliament Mr. Louis Ng shared his difficult decision to step away from politics. His reason? The heavy commitment to serving the nation meant sacrificing time with his three daughters — a price he was no longer willing to pay. He openly expressed his deep regret for missing out on these irreplaceable family moments.
最近一则新闻报道中，国会议员**黄伟中先生（Louis Ng）**坦率分享了他退出政坛的决定。他表示，作为人民代议士的沉重责任，让他错失了与三个女儿相处的宝贵时光，这是一份他不愿再继续付出的代价。
His honesty resonated with many, reminding us that caregiving and family responsibilities should never be sidelined by duty — even for those in leadership.
他的坦诚引发了不少共鸣，也提醒我们：无论职位多高，照顾家庭、陪伴孩子的责任都不应被牺牲。
But this stands in sharp contrast to the experience of the low-income family I shared above. A family punished by policy expectations simply because one parent must stay home to care for their sick child.
然而，这却与上述家庭的遭遇形成鲜明对比。因为母亲必须留在家中照顾患病孩子，这个家庭却被制度拒之门外。
If we can empathize with a parliamentarian’s struggle to balance public service and family, why do we dismiss the same struggle faced by vulnerable parents?
如果我们能体谅一位国会议员在“为民服务”与“照顾家人”之间的两难，为什么对那些生活在社会底层、同样为家人付出的父母缺乏同样的理解？
Dignity, caregiving, and service are not mutually exclusive. Whether one holds office or fights for survival at the margins, the right to care for one’s family is universal.
尊严、家庭照护与服务社会并不冲突。 无论是高官还是普通百姓，每一位父母都有守护家人的权利。
Compassionate policies must reflect this truth — not only for leaders, but for every member of our society.
真正有温度的政策，应该包容每一个人，不只是那些身居高位者，更应关照最需要帮助的家庭。
🤲 The true test of a nation’s soul is how we treat the most vulnerable among us.
一个国家的良心，体现在它如何对待最弱势的人群。
#SocialImpact #Singapore #DignityInAssistance #InclusiveSociety #FinancialAid #CommunityCare #DoBetter #社会援助 #新加坡 #包容社会 #尊严与关爱
👔 When Leadership Expectations Overlook Family Realities
当领导层的期望忽视了家庭的现实
In January 2023, Prime Minister Lawrence Wong stated that many Singaporeans wish to work longer, provided they remain healthy. He cited surveys indicating that individuals recognize the benefits of continued employment for health and purpose.
However, this perspective has been met with skepticism. A poll conducted by Answers.sg in March 2025 revealed that 96% of respondents disagreed with PM Wong’s assertion, indicating that many feel compelled to work longer due to financial necessity rather than personal desire.
Regarding MP Louis Ng’s decision to step down from politics to prioritize his family, both PM Wong and Minister K. Shanmugam made efforts to persuade him to continue his political career. MP Louis Ng finally chose to return the non-profit sector to strike a better balance between work and family.
This scenario highlights the tension between professional commitments and family responsibilities. While leaders are encouraged to continue their roles despite personal challenges, it’s essential to recognize and support the caregiving needs of all individuals, regardless of their position.
然而，这一观点引发了公众的质疑。 2025年3月，Answers.sg 进行的一项调查显示，96%的受访者不同意总理的说法，认为他们之所以延迟退休，是出于经济压力，而非自愿。
同时，前义顺集选区议员黄伟中先生因希望陪伴三个年幼的女儿，决定退出政坛。 尽管总理黄循财和内政部长尚穆根多次劝说他继续担任议员，但他最终选择回归非营利组织领域，以更好地平衡工作与家庭。
这一事件凸显了在高层领导中，家庭责任往往被忽视的现实。 如果连议员都难以在工作与家庭之间取得平衡，那么对于普通家庭来说，制度是否给予了足够的支持和理解？
📚 Further Reading | 延伸阅读
📰 On Working Longer and Retirement Expectations
📰 关于延迟退休与继续工作的讨论
- “Singaporeans want to work longer if they are healthy, says Lawrence Wong” Prime Minister Lawrence Wong shared during a dialogue at the Institute of Policy Studies (Jan 2023) that many Singaporeans wish to work longer, citing surveys that suggest continued employment brings purpose and benefits health. 新加坡总理黄循财在2023年1月的政策研究院（IPS）对话会上表示，许多新加坡人希望在健康允许的情况下继续工作，因为调查显示持续就业有助于身心健康、赋予生活目标。 🔗 Read here → Channel News Asia
- “Survey: 96% disagree with PM Wong’s claim that Singaporeans want to work longer” A contrasting survey by Answers.sg (March 2025) found that 96% of respondents disagreed with PM Wong’s view, indicating that many feel pressured to work longer not by choice, but by financial necessity. 然而，Answers.sg在2025年3月进行的一项调查显示，96%的受访者不同意总理的说法。他们表示，延迟退休并非出于自愿，而是由于经济压力所迫。 🔗 Read here → The Online Citizen
📰 On Louis Ng’s Resignation and Leadership Expectations
📰 关于黄伟中议员辞职及领导层对工作的期待
- “GE2025: Louis Ng explains decision to step down, shares emotional regret over time lost with daughters” Despite repeated persuasion from Prime Minister Lawrence Wong and Minister K. Shanmugam, MP Louis Ng decided to step down to prioritize family life, expressing deep regret for missing out on his daughters’ growing-up years due to the heavy demands of political service. 尽管总理黄循财与内政部长尚穆根多次劝说，义顺集选区议员黄伟中先生仍决定退出政坛，专注家庭生活。他坦言，长年投入政治工作，错过了女儿成长的重要时光，这让他深感遗憾。 🔗 Read here → Channel News Asia
📌 Reflection | 思考
These readings highlight the disconnect between leadership rhetoric and the lived realities of many Singaporeans — especially caregivers and parents. 这些文章让人深思：领导层的言论与新加坡普通百姓、尤其是照顾家庭的父母们所经历的现实之间，是否存在着鸿沟？
While leaders are encouraged to persevere despite personal struggles, ordinary families often face rigid systems that fail to recognize caregiving as valuable and legitimate work. 当身居高位的人被鼓励在个人困难中继续坚持，普通家庭却常常面对缺乏弹性的政策，无法把“照顾家人”视为一项正当的劳动。
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